text {felled in the night by the ones you think you love}

[tdls]

[the display name simply reads tim drake - a calculated choice, because as far as tim knows, he died on a rooftop in gotham and this is all one weird braindeath vision he's experiencing as he's on his way out. nevertheless, he guesses it's unlikely that anyone here knows him, and if they do? he wants to know who they are right away. especially considering what he's found.]

Found: one strange-looking knife. Maybe ceremonial?

[yeah, right. tim knows exactly what this knife is used for.]

Describe it and I'll return it to you ASAP.

Comments

[sociallychallenged]

Maybe me and my partner can help you find the owner. He's kind of a savant about this sort of thing.

[Hank is absolutely taking this at face value.]

[tdls]

[that’s the idea - that only the suspected owner of the knife will know that there’s more to this message than meets the eye.]

Is he a savant about knives or about finding people?

[sociallychallenged]

About finding people, mostly. He could probably tell you a lot about the knife, too. Search it for fingerprints, tell you what metal it's made out of, how old it is. That kind of thing.

[tdls]

Really? That's a pretty specific set of skills. Does your partner work in crime scene forensics?

[always good to know if there's someone like that around.]

[sociallychallenged]

Yeah, he is. [At least that's the best way to describe what Connor is without giving too much away.] We were detectives from the year 2038. Detroit based.

[tdls]

Maybe I can pick up some tips from the both of you sometime. I guess you could call me an amateur detective.

[sure ... we’ll go with that description. why not.]

What’s Detroit like in 2038? That’s a bit in the future for me.

[sociallychallenged]

Kind of you to donate your time to getting someone's possession back.

I'd be careful, though. There are some strange cults in the area. [The ones that are way too excited about the newcomers.] It could have come from one of them, and not all of the militiamen use the internet.

[Just a few. And some of them are particularly boisterous and off-putting. The quieter ones just seem to be your average seclusionists, though.]

Detroit is about the same. I spent my whole life there and the only thing that changes is all the billboards became TVs and new more automated companies replaced the old ones. [He's going to say less about how they're automated, though.]

[tdls]

[hoo boy, cults. tim’s already starting to feel right at home.]

It looks like it might be important. But what are the cults that are around? That sounds like it could be serious.

Private Inbox message

[shitstorm_eve]

Good afternoon, Mr. Drake,

I am certain the blade you found is the missing kris we have been seeking. I can offer you no information on it besides that we would very much like it returned. You will be handsomely rewarded for it, of course.

[tdls]

[well, well. isn’t this suspicious as hell.]

Really? Wow, that would be a pretty big coincidence if it’s true. I don’t know what a kris is though - can you describe what it looks like?

[that’s a lie - tim knows exactly what it is. this is a test.]

[shitstorm_eve]

Of course it is. A curvy blade in the form of a zig-zag, with a black handle. It is important matter that we get it back. Name a price.

[tdls]

It doesn't look like anything special. What's so important about it?

[worth a shot, at least, though he doesn't have much hope for an honest answer.]

[shitstorm_eve]

That is a matter of national security. Mr. Drake, we would very much like the knife back, for the safety of everyone. Your kind and the natives as well.

[tdls]

You know, you haven’t even told me who you are. Anyone can claim something’s a matter of national security, but how do I know you’re telling the truth? How do I know that you aren’t the threat to the safety of everyone here?

[notverycinematic]

You just find knives lying around?

[tdls]

I guess I do now!

[that’s ... not entirely true, it was stashed away in a car that seemed to have been left for tim to find.]

Not yours, I take it?

[notverycinematic]

Kinda dangerous, don't you think?

Nope. Not mine. Guess you have a new souvenir.

[tdls]

Well, if I'm not the one finding them, it would be someone else, and that's also dangerous. Someone could step on a knife. I've never done that, but I bet it hurts worse than stepping on a Lego.

[notverycinematic]

I don't know about that. You ever step on a Lego?

[tdls]

More times than I can count. You’d think after the first couple of times I’d learn to keep better track of them. Have you?

[notverycinematic]

No, but I hear it's terrible

[tdls]

You heard correctly. Not the worst injury I’ve ever had, but definitely not pleasant.

[notverycinematic]

On a scale of only a bitch complains to drinking actual lava, where would you put it?

[tdls]

I’ve never drunk lava before, but I’d place it a little above papercut but below dislocated shoulder.

[please note that tim has continued fighting bad guys with a dislocated shoulder, so it’s possible his pain tolerance scale is nnnot like that of most people.]

[notverycinematic]

That's a pretty wide range.

[tdls]

There’s a pretty wide range of Legos to step on.

[notverycinematic]

Okay, yeah, that's a good point. You win this round.

[tdls]

Does winning this round come with a prize of some kind?

[notverycinematic]

A drink?